I finally made the jump and deleted my Facebook account – which I
have had for many years. Facebook was
something I would check on a daily basis – multiple times a day. It was fascinating for me! I got to see pictures and posts of friends
and acquaintances I had met throughout my life.
There were always a plethora of interesting articles to read every day
that people had posted or “liked”, which then showed up on my news feed. It was truly an addiction, and something I
looked forward to doing every single day.
I got lots of interesting ideas for crafts/food/home/etc... (most of
which I never actually tried).
And then something pulled at me.
Something very deep. It wasn’t
until just this week that I realized what the root was. But before I go in to that, I’ll explain the
“branches” so to speak, that led me to delete my account.
I am a mother and wife.
That is the number one reason.
Let me explain. In July, I will
have three children, three and under. I
am very busy woman. I keep a clean home,
do laundry, iron, make meals, shop, keep track of my little budget in
frugality, love my children, support my husband – you know…the necessary things
that all mothers and wives do. I never
would have even thought – growing up - how much time that takes up! Teaching children good principles AND GOOD
HABITS is time consuming, and takes a lot of patience – and more prayers,
tears, conversations with husband, and thought than I can count. It is such a beautiful and rewarding
work. So much so, that I am willing to
take the time and patience to do it.
Because I am selfish – and I want to be HAPPY…and this makes me
SUPREMELY happy – especially when I finally see the progress we have made, and
knowledge and understanding dawn on my children’s beautiful little faces.
Well….Facebook, believe it or not inhibited me with regards to my
style of motherhood. (I realize we are
all different and have different talents, gifts, inclinations, etc... - so
deleting a Facebook account is not the answer for many.) I became so focused on
other people (digitally) that I lost a perfect balance and foresight for my own
family. I found myself comparing myself
to others…and others to me….so often. Do
you know what that does to a woman?
Well, if you are a woman reading this….then you probably know. Nothing good.
AND it is SUCH A TIME WASTER.
Beyond that, I was growing very weary of my friends and acquaintances
posting articles that contradicted how I felt about life, parenting, morality,
choice (this includes vaccinations – whooowheee), and marriage, and everything
else under the sun. I found myself drawn
in – no, SUCKED in - to reading these articles, and what did they do for my family? Nothing.
Actually – it took time AWAY from my family, and completely wasted my
time on nothing important. I know that
some people find these things important, but for me – I already know what is
right for myself and my family, and I have a God who inspires me through
personal revelation and through others – including lessons at church, pleasant
conversations with the mothers and friends outside on the playground, religious
leaders, and the books I read.
That is another thing. I
found myself looking horizontally for help in all categories of life. I would post on Facebook a question and a
plea for help in whichever category of life, and everyone had a different
answer or opinion on the matter. I had
forgotten that if I stopped “searching on Google”, or stopped looking
horizontally toward the opinions of others on Facebook, and LOOKED UP, toward
my Heavenly Father, I would receive all of my answers from Him – the right
answers for me/my family. And do you
know what? That takes some getting used to!
You have to listen with different ears, and speak with a different
heart. When you haven’t been accustomed
to relying on the Lord that often, you have to train every part of your being
in a new way. It takes time and
patience.
But I feel happier. I feel
more balanced. I get more done. I have devoted more time to my children (and
myself) now than I ever have. I compare
less…actually I find a whole day goes by where I haven’t compared myself to
another or another to myself at all.
That has really brought the spirit in to my home/heart! I have thoroughly enjoyed it – and I haven’t
missed it at all, although I found myself going to the computer often, and by
muscle memory (not even thinking about it), type in “f”, “a”, “enter” – which was
what I would always type quickly to get to Facebook. It just takes me to a “search” now, and
reminds me how silly I am. I didn’t
realize how accustomed my body had come to going to Facebook. This is separate from my mind or even
desire. The other day, I wanted to look
up google maps, and without thinking, my fingers began typing in “Facebook” –
without thinking! So, so silly – so contrary
to what I want for myself.
This past weekend, our stake had a Stake Women’s Conference. It was absolutely wonderful, as always. In the “motherhood” class, the woman leading
the discussion asked something along the lines of, “what are you doing in your
life that is a distraction – that is taking time away from doing the essential
and the necessary?” She said much more,
but I’ll focus on that. Immediately, my
mind knew exactly what those things were.
There are one or two TV shows with which I keep up online, and they are
my guilty little pleasures. And I have
this game on my phone that I play whenever I just need to “veg”, or I want to “relax”
and think about nothing and be entertained.
When I think of what God wants me to do in my life, I can never see Him saying, the words “veg”, “guilty
little pleasure”, “think about nothing and be entertained”, or “waste time”. Goodness!
That makes me chuckle, just thinking about that. NEVER.
Do you know what Jesus Christ did when he had suffered for the sins and
pains of ALL of us, and had suffered again and died on the cross for us? He did not rest for those three days, before
he was resurrected. He was busy at work
in the Kingdom of His Father – our Father.
Whenever I find myself content with my life and what I am doing, and
find that I deserve to relax, I remember my Savior and what he did for others –
after he had done….everything…..for me – and everyone. He continued persevering and serving and
bringing others to know Him and the good news of the gospel. So I deleted that stupid little game on my
phone. And I refuse to watch another
show.
THIS brings me to root of it all.
Last night I realized it. The
Lord has been preparing me, and I didn’t even know it. My mother, Julie, took President Neal A
Anderson’s challenge (at the Family RootsTech conference this year) to do
family History work (which she already does very well) AND to teach others to
do it as well. She challenged me. And she even came to my house, and taught me
how to begin. And since then, the ball
has been rolling, and it is never going to stop. I have a new addiction! Family History work used to be SO overwhelming
for me. It still is – at times. But once you begin, you catch the Spirit of
Elijah, and you run with it, and you never want to stop. I feel that there are other forces pulling me
now – not just myself. I KNOW my
ancestors are in my presence, pushing me on – pulling me. I can FEEL it, and it is something I cannot
describe, but it is something very real, and almost tangible. Almost.
You know those stories about the pioneers crossing the plains, and
having no strength left in their bodies, and then they feel the angels come and help
push. That must have felt tangible –
that push and pull – and that is the best way I can think of to describe the
feeling I feel. It is something that is
and isn’t myself. It is my growing connection
to these incredible people – my ancestors.
Last night, I reserved my first name to do all temple work (he
still needs a little more information before I can give his name to my husband
to complete the temple work), but the feeling that came over me was so
overwhelming and beautiful and profound, all I could do was cry. I tried to pray, but no words came. What was I supposed to say? Thank you? That wasn’t quite it. So I just called on God, and invited him into
my presence, because what I was feeling was so powerful and overwhelming that I
couldn’t do anything else. It felt so
warm, and FULL of purpose and direction.
I had never felt anything quite like it.
So now, beyond being a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a
sister, and a friend – I am now taking up the Spirit of Elijah, and I am going
to run with it and spread it as far and wide as I can. I have found a new part of me, and I feel
more “myself” than I ever have. And “myself”,
really, is a daughter of God, a princess in the House of Israel, a “God in
Embryo”, as my good friend CS Lewis would say.
I exhort all those who read this to examine your life, not just once,
but daily – even hourly – to eliminate YOUR distractions, those things which keep
you from doing the necessary (like dishes and laundry, and meals and cleaning) and
the essential (like family and personal prayer and scriptures study, FHE,
Attending the temple on a regular basis, attending church weekly). There will be days when all you can do is the
very, very basic (ESPECIALLY if you have small children underfoot), and there
will be days when the ONLY service you can give to another is a smile. God knows about those days, and even though especially
as mothers, we don’t feel like we accomplished anything on days like that –
they ARE acceptable offerings unto Him. Why? Because we were being mothers and wives. Even at the very basic level, and even if we
didn’t accomplish anything that we can see, and even if we lost our temper more
that we care to admit, and even if we weren’t perfectly patient with our
children…..we were being mothers.
But on the good days, if you have trained yourself not to rely on
those distractions and time wasters- whatever they may be for you – you WILL be
able to accomplish more than you could ever imagine. And perhaps, you too will catch the spirit of
Elijah.
And if you do……RUN WITH IT!!!!
