I grew up in a home where I was taught to cook, sew, clean, love, nurture, and even knit. I enjoyed every moment of my upbringing, and I look back on it in fondness. I am so grateful for all that my wonderful parents did to give me the best education and teach me how to truly live.
THEN I moved away to go to school at George Wythe University. I loved my new life, albeit in a different way than I loved my life at home. I had a lot of freedom. I could explore new things. I could stay out as late as I wanted to. Of course I never did anything bad, because of the virtue that was instilled in me in youth, but I was able to stretch the line a bit. I had never really hung out with boys who were older than me at institute dances, and having men over at our house was a new thing too. But I didn't do very much of that either. Rather, something in me diminished in a way. That something was my sense of pure domesticity.
At George Wythe University, I studied many long hours. I also worked a lot at the school as the receptionist. I was rarely at home, and when I was - it was only to get a wink of sleep, or a quick, simple, easy bite to eat - then I was headed off to an institute counsel meeting, or class.
I went shopping once every two weeks or so, and skipped meals many times. I knew how to cook, but good money was scarce and, frankly, so was time. Those few times when there was extra money, we would usually go out to eat at the Pastry Pub, and get a Crunchy Italian Salad - my favorite!
A couple years went by. I was still always known as the Little Domestic Goddess, since I was the one who always ironed her clothes, liked health food, kept her spaces clean, etc.... But I still was not as domestically inclined as I really truly could be.
I met Isaac, my husband, and we had a good time falling in love. Once we got engaged, everything started sinking in. I would have to cook multiple meals - EVERY DAY! I was not looking forward to that! I couldn't even think of ten good, wholesome meals in my head, let alone hundreds - for years and years! I admit, I was slightly afraid. Looking back, I know that was unnecessary - because I had it in me all along.
As soon as we got married and got back from our wonderful honeymoon, I was in our kitchen. What was I to do? Would he like what I made? I don't know enough about spices! Will he eat it? Will it be too spicy? Too runny? Too bland? I was paralyzed by fear.
The first week or two, I kept making excuses for the meals I made. "Oh, I am sorry about this", "I am sorry about that", "I know this meal is too (insert ridiculous excuse), but I hope you like it" - they go on. After a while, I realized that I loved cooking. It was so satisfying and incredibly fun to cook for my husband. I started to say, "This was and experiment of mine, and we are going to have so much fun trying it out!" and we did! Sometimes, on rare occasions, like when I made a Jamaican chicken dish, the meal wasn't the best, but we ate it anyways, laughed, and had a good time in our conversation, and then pushed our empty dishes aside to play a game of phase ten.
That first month was especially fun, because we didn't have an oven, so I was able to be creative with the meals. I discovered that I have a knack with spices - I think my mother did a pretty good job with me - and I never even knew it!
Sometimes it is fun to make meals, like breakfast, extra special by dimming the lights, and lighting a candle, while we read out of The Book of Mormon, between bites. Now, I am cooking healthy meals that I learned to love, living at home in Idaho - and guess what? He loves them too!
It is amazing what we can do and how much we can learn about ourselves, when we eliminate our fears.
No comments:
Post a Comment