It is Sunday.  The Ogden Temple dedication was today, and it was a beautiful ceremony.  Isaac mentioned that it was strange that the dedication was being broadcasted for the whole state to see.  (At least I think it is for the whole state.  I admit I don’t know.)  I hadn’t thought about that before.  I grew up going to all of the temple dedications in my state (in person, or broadcast) – even if the temple was hours away from me, and it wasn’t “our temple”.  Why?  It got me thinking.  Here are my thoughts.  In our religion, we are all about repetition, and remembrance, and signs and symbols.  The same is true for what goes on in the temple.  We may tire of repetition – especially in Sunday School, but if we have the right perspective, we will find that through that repetition, new knowledge comes.  After all, revelation and light comes line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little. So why are we asked to attend these temple dedications, even if they aren’t “our temple”?  Repetition. Remembrance. Signs, and Symbols.  If our regular church meetings are canceled, all are invited to attend the temple dedication, where we are pleasantly and strongly reminded of the wonderful, eternal blessings that come from attending the temple as often as we can.  Through the repetition of the signs and symbols taught there, we learn a little more about the saving mission of Jesus Christ, the Plan of Salvation, and our purpose in all of it.  My favorite talk was given by David A Bednar.  Something he said really stood out to me.  He spoke about how we are all dressed identically in white in the temple.  All positions of rank, or certifications, or anything that sets us apart – “higher” or “lower” – in the outside world, in our society – dissolves in the temple, and we are one.  I had never thought about the fact that we are dressed identically in the temple.  Sure, there are slight differences in dress.  For example, my white slippers may have hard soles, while yours may be soft slippers, and my temple outfit is a dress, while yours may be a blouse and skirt.  But while we may take small notice of these differences, they are similar enough that we don’t continue thinking about it, or analyzing everything the person is wearing, how it fits, if it is in style or not, or if the colors/patterns work well together, etc.  No, because we all look similar in dress, and our dress doesn’t cause us to ponder about how much that person makes, how rich they are, and what good (or bad) taste they have – we begin to focus on the person.  With our appearance out of the equation, what sets us apart from others are our spiritual gifts, and different qualities of Christ.  We all come from Heavenly Mother and Father.  Likewise, just as with our Earthly parents, we each have inherited different qualities of them – divine qualities, if I may.  There is the elderly woman with that shining light in her eyes, who can make a person feel immense love, just by looking and smiling warmly at them.  That quality comes from her Heavenly Parents.  There is the man who can make any person laugh, and bring joy to everyone in a room – the kind of joy that lingers in your heart even after you have left that room. That quality comes from his Heavenly Parents.  There is the young lady who knows just what to say to affirm your feelings – whether they be sad or glad feelings – and helps uplift you in your time of need, and is glad with you in times of joy.  She is a true friend.  These are qualities that come from her Heavenly Parents.   And then there is you!  You have qualities that come from your Heavenly parents!  You may already know what they are and are cultivating them, and using them to further the Lord’s work on the Earth!  You may already know what they are, but are still searching for some of them.  (Patriarchal blessing comes to mind.) I am still searching for some of mine.  You may not feel that you have any qualities of our Heavenly Parents. You may feel like you have been discarded - whether by society, friends, family, or even God.  That’s okay.  I can understand those feelings.  But remember – “fan the flame of your faith”.  Even if your faith isn’t a flame, but a flicker.  Fan the flicker of your faith.  Even if it is just a hope.  Hope is the precursor to faith, and it is very powerful if you let it be.  Two years ago, and again last year, I experienced something so difficult.  The most difficult thing I have ever had to endure.  I hid it from others, other than my husband and God, and nobody ever knew what I was suffering.  What I suffered was not an Abrahamic trial, testing my faith to its limits, like Abraham with Isaac.  It was a trial of a different nature.  It caused me to question my entire life, I became quite depressed, and I questioned my marriage and my role in society and my family.  Nearly every aspect of my life was shaken and I was mortified, and so very, very hurt and sad and confused, and angry. Thankfully, the religious aspect of my life wasn’t shaken.  I am grateful that my testimony has always been strong, and that I will never have to struggle in that way.  But I know that many do.  We all have our trials that we must overcome. But even though my testimony was strong and I never doubted that God was beside me, by far, this was the darkest period of my life, and I felt that I would never be able to be normal again.  A great injustice had been done against me, and I felt it had altered my life.  I would never feel true joy again. I would never feel whole and free again.  These feelings are real.  Do NOT judge others when they are feeling this way, because for them, in that moment, it is very real.  And in some way, it is expected to feel this way, for a time. This was my problem.  I allowed myself to suffer by myself for far too long.  Sure, I never stopped believing in God, or that he loved me, or that he understood me and was watching over me, but it took me a long time  - a couple of years – to truly allow His atonement to change my life.  After months and months of struggling alone, inside my head and my heart, I knelt down to figure things out.  I had been alone for too long.  Jesus Christ already paid the price for my sufferings and my sorrows a long time ago.  The price was already paid, so why was I continuing to pay for it, by myself – in vain?  When I knelt down, I decided to fan that flame of my faith, and give this pain to Him.  Why should I continue to suffer needlessly, when my older brother has already suffered for me? I had already exceeded that “mourning period” – months ago.  It was time.  Past due, in fact.  So that is what I did.  Mind you, it took strength – strength I did not have.  So I borrowed strength from the Holy Ghost, the great comforter. I wish I could tell you that the change in me was instant and that a miraculous change of heart occurred and that the burden was lifted off of my shoulders immediately.  That would have been lovely.  But I can’t tell you that.  I can, however, tell you that I felt peace, and warmth and love.  And little by little, precept by precept, here a little and there a little, I began to heal.  Healing meant that I continually had to fall on my knees and give that day’s particular pains and sorrows, or negative thoughts about myself or another to Him.  It was a daily struggle.  No, it was an hourly struggle.  And it was not easy.  But do you know what?  Through the power and Atonement of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I have been made whole.  I write that with tears in my eyes, because it was only last week when I realized that.  I never thought that I would feel whole again.  The deep abyss in my life has been filled.  The miracle in all of this is that what has come in its place is something more than what I previously had before this trial.  I testify that the trials we experience, if we do so with the Atonement written upon our hearts, can become stepping stones to something far greater than before.  Although I would NEVER ask for this trial to be thrust upon me, I look upon it with thankfulness now, because it has brought me closer to God, and closer to my family, and closer to my greatest goal in life. I love the Lord.  He is my Savior and my redeemer.  The days of miracles HAVE NOT ENDED.  I know that we are loved, and that there are people on both sides of the veil fighting for our salvation and our happiness and our success.  Let them fight for you, and with that borrowed strength I wrote about earlier, let us fight with them!