December 3, 2014

Okay.  So here’s the deal.  Pregnancy doesn’t get any easier when it’s the third time around.  No siree!  But….if you are determined…YOU can get BETTER at it.  Let me try to explain.

My expecting neighbor across the way is blessed to sleep in if she wants to, since this is her first pregnancy.  A time to cherish, I must say.  I wish I would have cherished that sacred time more when I had the chance!  But I don’t envy her.  It’s okay. J I get to wake up to my little Mary’s sweet voice saying good morning to me every morning and a little snuggle from little William.  Priceless.  I thought that for certain, the Lord would bless me with a morning sickness-free pregnancy, since we were obeying the inspiration that we had received to expand our family.  Well, I guess that natural biology still applies, even if you are listening to the Still Small Voice.  Ha!  Right on cue, once six weeks came along, the waves of nausea came flowing in.  I want to be sick, just typing the words “waves” and “nausea”.  BUT!  Here is my little proud moment.  I haven’t actually vomited (is there a better word to use than that word?)  I am MAKING SURE that I eat something before I even get up (vertically) in the morning.  Isaac will cut up an apple and bring me a slice or something like that.  Then, I take little sips of water and continue snacking until breakfast is ready.  I get ready too, because nobody feels happy or complete or refreshed for a new day until you are fully dressed and ready to face the day.  It just gives you more energy.  And it is a good habit.  And I want to be full of good habits by the end of my life! (Song from “Annie” – You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile” should be running through your head now, as it is in mine.) J Then we eat, and I have to serve myself now – Isaac can’t serve me anymore, as he previously did.  Only I know the amount my body needs in that exact moment.  And if something begins to make me feel sick, I immediately put it down and out of my sight, and either nibble on something else that may work, or sip water, or walk away from the kitchen.  Then, throughout the morning,, I have to eat or drink water every 20-30 minutes.  And as SOON as I feel morning sickness come on, I think quickly about what my body needs.  If I wander into the kitchen and start rummaging through the pantry, cupboards and fridge, I am sure that I would be sick.  So, if I have a plan before I go into the kitchen, I am much more successful.  I also don’t eat in the kitchen.  I just want to focus on the one thing I am eating without having to take in any other food sights or smells.

Mornings and early afternoons are the toughest times.  Then a little bout in the evening.  But in the midafternoon, I have a little welcomed reprieve.  I always look forward to that!  I take my prenatal pills and any other supplements in the evening when I know I won’t be sick.  I buy my prenatal pills and supplements from Melaleuca.  And Melaleuca = $$$, so I don’t want those to go to waste.

I wondered aloud to Isaac if I would gain a lot of weight this pregnancy with all of the extra eating.  After he asked me what I was eating for all of my snacks, I realized that most of them were fruits and veggies (my body feels best after fresh food), with the occasional fried egg or quesadilla with beans and tomatoes.

I sit down when I need to, but when I am feeling pretty good, I get up and do dishes, clean, laundry, ironing, email, make meals, etc…  With a houseful of children (and in 600 sq. ft., two children really is a “houseful”), you cannot be lackadaisical. ESPECIALLY when you are a woman who requires order in her home, home cooked meals, and peace.  I MUST HAVE A CLEAN HOME and I MUST MAKE HOME COOKED MEALS.  That’s how I am, and how my mother was, and my grandmother, and great grandmother and so on and so forth.  It is just in my blood, and if I were to depart from that path, I would be a disappointment to myself and to my beloved feminine ancestors.  I enjoy it and find great satisfaction from it.  There have been times when I haven’t found satisfaction, but when I have persevered, the joy and satisfaction comes.  WELL.  This presents a bit of a problem when you have morning sickness and the diminished energy that usually accompanies most pregnancies.  So I have to really utilize my time.  When the children are napping, I ask myself, “What do I need to accomplish in these 2 hours?  What things do I need to get done now that would be harder to get done when those two little ones are up?”  I am really learning to prioritize and get better at this!  Not perfect yet, but getting there.

I think that the biggest difference with this pregnancy from the others is that I have become stronger, more persistent at listening to what my body needs and at getting things DONE.  I really feel like I am growing closer to the Lord too through all of this.  I feel like if I can overcome my body, and still find the strength and energy to strive to be a loving and patient mother, and to serve others, and to make my home a haven for my husband from the hardships of the world that he encounters every day, then I feel like the Lord will be able to count on me to fulfill other tasks throughout my life to help move His work and purpose for his children forward.  I really feel like I am accomplishing things!!  I am sure that a woman of the world would look at me and think that I am accomplishing nothing, and that I am not reaching my fullest potential, but she doesn’t know what I feel to be true.  I hope that one day she will.  I hope all women can one day feel the joy that I and countless other women have found and are continuing to find in the home.  Our places.  Our dominion.  Our heaven on Earth.  (Even though some days it seems like a hell.  Haha.  But there must needs be opposition in all things, so that we may know the good from the bad.  The happy from the sad.)

My first pregnancy’s morning sickness was AWFUL.  I had that really horrible morning sickness (I can’t remember what it is called – Duchess Catherine has it right now.) I lost 26 pounds in the first 13 weeks, and was hospitalized. I was severely dehydrated and dreamed and obsessed about water, but could never retain it.  It was my worst nightmare.  My tongue felt like dry paper, and it felt swollen.  I was so unhappy.  In the hospital, they introduced me to Zofran.  I NEVER take medication of any kind – well, hardly ever.  Maybe once a year.  And that is only if I am in extreme pain.  That isn’t counting Novocain at the dentist. J So once this came into my life, it worked like a dream.  I would take a half of a dissolvable tablet every morning and be fine.  I would still be sick every day, but it was much better.  The same with the second pregnancy.  Lots of morning sickness, but I got through it with Zofran.   Also, I would forget to eat lunch.  And just not eat very consistently, although the food I did eat was relatively healthy.   I really feel that this bad habit contributed to my need for Zofran.  So I am trying my best not to have in this time around.  This means that I really do have to compel myself to be stronger in every way and to listen to my body in a new way that I am not used to.  Why is it that my nature always drives me to methods that always take more work on my part?  I am such an independent person.  I deliver my babies naturally without any medication (and on my own terms – and if anyone even dares to speak, I ask them to please be quiet), I do my own birth control – meaning that I track my basal body temperature, track my cervical fluid and position of cervix (works perfectly if you are trying not sonceive, and works PERFECTLY to conceive EXACTLY when you want to!), make all home cooked meals every day, homeschooling my children, etc, etc.  THESE THINGS TAKE SO MUCH TIME AND WORK!  Why do I choose them??  I often wonder what makes us all tick – what makes us all different.  I definitely think it is a good thing.  It will be fun to look back, in the next life, and see the grand scheme of things.

We aren’t telling anyone that we are expecting yet.  It’s like a sacred little nugget of light that you want to hold on to just for a little longer.  I think that something is lost once everything is known, in a way I can’t quite describe.  But as long as it is kept quiet, it is still mine and Isaac’s – and only ours.  It is a very sacred and wonderful thing.

Well, I guess I have told a few people, but only because I needed to.  I needed to contact some home birth midwives, so the friends I contacted about that know, along with the midwives, the man we spoke to about life insurance knows (very random), and maybe one or two other random people I will likely never see again in this life.  J  Oh!  And Mary and William know too, but neither care nor remember at this point.  Although, whenever I ask Mary where the baby is, she points to either her belly or mine.  Cute as can be!  Another reason I, in particular, don’t wish to tell people quite yet is because I am hoping that it will help my pregnancy feel like it goes by a little more quickly.  If I tell people once we know the gender, I will already be half way along!  That sounds lovely to me.

My neighbor comes over almost every morning to visit before she goes to work.  Mary and William and I all love it. J We always have nice chats and enjoy each other’s company.  She is expecting as well.  Well, yesterday, she kindly asked if I had any breakfast food to spare – they hadn’t gone shopping yet (I totally know the predicament).  So I proceeded to put oat groats in a pot to warm up (we don’t have a microwave), and slice up a beautiful Arnott Farms navel orange for her.  She had no idea that at that very moment, I was battling a horrible wave of nausea, but didn’t want to tell her, or my sacred little secret would be out!  So it is moments like that, that I look back upon and laugh at the hilarity of it all.  God has a sense of humor!  I know it won’t be the only story like that I will encounter, but it was a good first one!  Isaac and I got another good laugh once he came home and I told him.  In life, you can either laugh or cry.  It is up to you. 

Well, my time is up.  I hear William crying.  Time to go pick him up and see if I can inspire him to turn his cries into laughs. J